I’m eager to write a post about the lessons I have learnt this year because this year, has been full of lessons and in due time, I will share them but this post will centre on one thing that has stayed with me for the most part of this year. Confidence – the God kind.
I like what most of us do when we are young. We put together the perfect image of how our lives should look like at a particular age, what we should have achieved, how much impact we should have made etc. Mine was a pretty laid out plan. I wore a highly ambitious cloak and anytime I imagined myself in that cloak, I felt a sense of pride and self-worth. At the time, my worth was determined by what I had accomplished. Today, I thank God for the detours in my life and the path God had already carved for my life. It was within these detours that I learnt how to trust the God I had been claiming to believe. I’ve not had the roughest life story but I can attest that the foundation of my confidence has been shaken and that has affected a major part of who God called me to be. I know what it feels like to want to be resilient but to crumble all over again when challenges knocks at your door. I know that things just don’t go away with time because the only thing that TRULY changes a man is God’s Word. Not just any word but the word that becomes flesh in your life. The Word that becomes very relatable to your situation. The Holy Spirit said to me, you can get all the revelation you want out of the Bible, if it does not change you, make your life better, it does not amount to much, because the Bible was not made to inform us, it was made to change us. Information that is not tangible in one’s life does not have much value.
The Bible was not made to inform us, it was made to change us.
The theme for the greater part of my twenties has been “who am I becoming?” as against “what have I achieved”. In today’s fast paced world of achievers it is very easy to feel like you have to do something to be noticed or to add worth to yourself. The basic truth is that, you do not have to do anything to validate your worth because who you are is never dependent on what you do. I have learnt that God wants ME before anything else. He wants me above what I can offer, because there is nothing that I can offer God that He does not already have. My gifts? He gave that to me. The best gift I can give Him is my life. The one He paid a price for. Therefore it is not about what I do, but who I become. This is not in any way to shame goal setting and having expectations, but this is to embrace your process especially when it involves being in the will of God and developing character. Sometimes God will interrupt your laid down structures so that you can have a sure structure – a foundation which can never be shaken. Sometimes God will remove the cloak of ambition so that He clothes you with purpose. Within purpose, you find your worth, your potential, and all that you could ever be.
There is nothing that I can offer God that He does not already have.
Becoming who God called you to be is a journey of highs, lows, uncertainties and many fears but it is the most fulfilling journey you can ever take. Sometimes, the journey is lonely. Other times is confusing. There have been countless times I wanted to throw in the towel but I had to regain my committment to sewing seeds, especially in this time of my life. I remind myself that the woman I want to be is largely dependent on the work I do on her today. Becoming is not as easy as doing. Doing requires skill, becoming involves you, your whole life. In becoming, you may ‘lose your life’ (your plans or your idealistic structures) in order to gain the one God prepared for you. This is what Jesus says in Matthew 10:39. He says, If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. In other words, if you stick to your way, your standard, your plan, your ideals, you will lose sight of what life is truly about. However, if you trust His Will, you will find true fulfilment. God has a life for you and it is definitely not a bog-standard life. It is a life which will require you to give up the old to embrace the new and it doesn’t happen in a day. It is a continous renewal of your very soul.
I understand that confidence that is based on achievement is fickle because who we are always precedes what we do. God calls us to a life where we walk in constant pursuit of His purpose . God calls us to live lives of acceptance, confidence and joy in the Holy Ghost but somehow we think we can find that in what we do. What we do will always be with us. Who we become is what will sustain us. Your character is what will make the difference in the end. Because character is the bulwark that strengthens all of your achievement.
What we do will always be with us. Who we become is what will sustain us.
Look at where you are and grow from there. Do not put unrealistic expectations on your life without seeking God’s will for your life. Do not think that things not happening for you is a sign of failure. Do not become obsessed with the numbers,the following, the achievement, the job, that you lose sight of what really matters – You. Become somebody more than that. Quit trying to fix things without fixing you. Enjoy each season and be hopeful of better days because better days are for sure. All God requires from us is a daily death from who we were into who we ought to be. And that is major! If today you have taken a step towards becoming like Jesus that is enough. Let’s shift focus to what really matters. The world needs human beings not human doings.
May we be confident in who we are becoming each day of our lives.
Love and hope your way.